I came into (heh) “Avengers XXX A Porn Parody” expecting to find the ridiculous level of storytelling shoe-horned between scenes of hardcore porn that I had last witnessed in Axel Braun’s masterful, Spider-Man XXX, and what I got was… really just the hardcore porn part. As bad as the “story” was in Spider-Man XXX, at least it still kind of had a three act structure; it kind of had a plot. Yet in a bold step towards deconstructionism (?), Avengers XXX eschews the notion of plot almost entirely. The film starts out acting as if there is going to be a plot, yet what we’re ultimately left with is a confused mess of incoherent elements contradicting one another and only providing a half-assed two act structure. The film slowly peters out after the opening scenes and it seems as if the writer/director forgot he was supposed to be delivering some geeky adult fun. People randomly namedrop other Marvel characters and deliver their semi-geeky lines like pron robots in a hasty attempt to get to the sex. There’s barely any dialog referencing the comics and they don’t even provide the actors with any ridiculous puns that would be chuckle inducing to comic nerds.
Sure, it is a porno, so why in the hell am I critiquing the story so much? Well, I figure if you’re going to go this far – that is, if you’re going to get some pretty cool costumes and fill your movie with “obscure” heroes that only comic fans will recognize, then you should at least attempt to put them in a fun, tongue in cheek world where you can deliver on the promise of a ‘parody’. The only laughs came from seeing how awfully the actors delivered their lines, and from thinking about how Axel Braun probably takes himself way too seriously and considers himself as some sort of auteur… the Christopher Nolan of the porn world
Anyway – let’s get to it huh? I know you just want a blow by blow account of the action relayed to you in X-rated screen caps, so let’s do it!