Category Archives: Movie Reviews

Oct12

CA Reviews: Batman – Return of the Caped Crusaders

Posted on October 12, 2016 by Matches Malone

Batman – Return of the Caped Crusaders is the first DCAU film I’ve even remotely had a desire to watch in the past year or two. After the godawful Son of Batman, Batman vs. Robin, Killing Joke CCCCC-combo I was not looking forward to wasting another 90 minutes on DC’s weird fetish with making Batman as lame as possible on film (BvS: DoJ deserves a lot of credit for my hate here as well, but I digress). Regardless, the central conceit – that they were making this as a tongue-in-cheek love letter to the 60’s television show was enough to pull me back in. The good news is that it wasn’t a wasted trip, because this is the first Batman film in a long time that didn’t leave me feeling like I don’t even enjoy the character anymore. “Return of the Caped Crusaders” isn’t perfect, mind you, but it was good enough to warrant its existence, which is increasingly rare for me to admit in today’s Batverse.

Full disclosure: I’ve always loved the 60’s television show. Growing up in the 80’s the reruns were on television frequently so I watched pretty much the entire run as a child. As I matured and really started understanding Batman as the character portrayed in the comics of the 80’s and 90’s, I realized the 60’s show was completely ridiculous. Yet that didn’t make me dislike it one iota, it just was… I had read Gold and Silver-age Batman comics and enjoyed them. The campy, ridiculous Surrealism of it all was great fun and I never once stopped to think “Why isn’t he brooding more?”….

My chief complaint with Batman and the subculture of fans which are so heavily invested in it, is the way in which said fans obstinately proclaim Batman to be one singular thing. In most cases, it can be described as “dark”. Yes – the idea that a grown man dressed in a Bat costume punching evil clowns must be taken deadly serious. How absurd and boring. Blah. Now Batman in films, games and comics is some sort of hulking, armor-clad Militarized idiot who never deduces anything beyond the obvious and solves every problem with punching and guns.

Yes – I know it was a goddamned dream sequence

Now, don’t get me wrong – I love “dark” Batman – IF it is told well… because here’s the thing: I just like well told stories.

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May22

CA Reviews: Avengers XXX A Porn Parody

Posted on May 22, 2012 by Matches Malone

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Wow.

I came into (heh) “Avengers XXX A Porn Parody” expecting to find the ridiculous level of storytelling shoe-horned between scenes of hardcore porn that I had last witnessed in Axel Braun’s masterful, Spider-Man XXX, and what I got was… really just the hardcore porn part. As bad as the “story” was in Spider-Man XXX, at least it still kind of had a three act structure; it kind of had a plot. Yet in a bold step towards deconstructionism (?), Avengers XXX eschews the notion of plot almost entirely. The film starts out acting as if there is going to be a plot, yet what we’re ultimately left with is a confused mess of incoherent elements contradicting one another and only providing a half-assed two act structure. The film slowly peters out after the opening scenes and it seems as if the writer/director forgot he was supposed to be delivering some geeky adult fun. People randomly namedrop other Marvel characters and deliver their semi-geeky lines like pron robots in a hasty attempt to get to the sex. There’s barely any dialog referencing the comics and they don’t even provide the actors with any ridiculous puns that would be chuckle inducing to comic nerds.

Sure, it is a porno, so why in the hell am I critiquing the story so much? Well, I figure if you’re going to go this far – that is, if you’re going to get some pretty cool costumes and fill your movie with “obscure” heroes that only comic fans will recognize, then you should at least attempt to put them in a fun, tongue in cheek world where you can deliver on the promise of a ‘parody’. The only laughs came from seeing how awfully the actors delivered their lines, and from thinking about how Axel Braun probably takes himself way too seriously and considers himself as some sort of auteur… the Christopher Nolan of the porn world

Anyway – let’s get to it huh? I know you just want a blow by blow account of the action relayed to you in X-rated screen caps, so let’s do it!

NSFW madness after the jump!

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Nov4

CA Reviews: Batman: Year One (2011)

Posted on November 4, 2011 by Matches Malone

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Batman : Year One (2011) –

(Originally published on Oct 11th, 2011)

It is finally here, the holy grail of Batman stories relayed through DC’s, admittedly, pretty damn good animation wing. Woe is them, because adapting one of the most highly revered Batman stories of all time has to be a nerve-wracking experience. Taking something that so many know so well and trying to adapt it into a different medium is always tricky, but when you pile ravenous fanboys on top of that it tends to be a lose-lose situation. With that in mind, full disclosure:

I am one of those fanboys.

The Year One story is the first comic arc I ever read that shook me out of my world of comic book banality and made me feel something that great art makes you feel; inspired, excited, alive, amazed, etc. It is the first comic book I read that re-defined what a comic book could be for me. I’m not saying it was the first genuine work of art in the medium – far from it – it was simply the story that made me a comic book nerd for life. Suffice it to say, I hold the work dear and while I’ve been eagerly anticipating this animated adaptation, I’ve also been preparing myself for what I assumed was an inevitable disappointment. Well…

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